"Experience is a harsh teacher. First comes the test, second comes the lesson." - Jigsaw, Saw IV
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Hi there ❤︎
Did you know that I love horror movies?
I bet you never could have guessed...
Like any good Daughter of Hell, October is my favorite month. Some experience seasonal affective disorder as fall descends on the end of a year, but I feel just the opposite. Summertime is my sworn enemy and autumn is my dirty crush. Nothing makes me feel more alive than her cold hands on my flesh. I chock it up to being a Ninth Circle girly. Bring me home to the icy lakes of Cocytus, will you? Let's make it a date ❤︎
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31 days, 31 movies. That's the annual goal! This year I broke my record and managed to squeeze in 34 movies in 31 days. If the world would stop stealing my husband away from me then I imagine it would've been far more than 34 ~ I refuse to binge alone! Where's the fun in that? Luckily, lots of great folks joined us in this year's extravaganza. I had a lovely time with Ray, Raven, and Bunny 💛
Our flicks are scored purely on scare factor this time around. Jasper and I rate the movies out of 100 (0 being not scary at all and 100 being holy fucking shit). I'll add our two scores for a total out of 200. By the 31st we hoped to break 1300 scare points overall. This proved to be quite the challenge ~ a horror glutton like myself is hard to scare hehe
1. Sinners (2025)
Beautifully shot and acted. Captivating plot with a fun twist on the "survive the night"-style horror staple. Emotionally riveting but little scares to be had. Who doesn't want to be a bigot-slaying vampire?
Scare Rating:
25 / 200
Spooky sci-fi creature feature with a strong emotional core around confronting grief. Awesome monster design! Jean Jacket rocks. A few good scares.
Scare Rating:
84 / 200
3. Dawn of the Dead (1978)
An absolute classic. Distressing scenes of society breaking down early on, but almost entirely just psychological horror to be found here. Biting commentary on consumerism. Love it!
Scare Rating:
40 / 200
Scare Rating:
22 / 200
6. Final Destination 5 (2011)
Right out of the gate this franchise entry makes a positive impression. Pleasantly gory and full of fresh, creative death scenes. How it took five Final Destination movies to become genuinely compelling I have no clue lmao
Scare Rating:
35 / 200
7. The Invisible Man (2020)
An inspired riff on the original concept. Disturbing for those who've had abusive exes, stalkers, and manipulators in their lives. Tense atmosphere and a couple real good scares.
Scare Rating:
93 / 200
10. Shadow of the Vampire (2000)
Who's the real monster? Murnau or Schreck? Gotta love it when humans turn out to be the bigger villain. Willem Dafoe chews scenery as the Count and is clearly having a blast doing it too. Amazingly fun meta take on Nosferatu (1922).
Scare Rating:
42 / 200
11. Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma (2026)
Not a horror movie per se, but a movie about horror movies. My teeny black sapphic heart burned up into little pieces. Queer horror commentary rolled into a surreal romance package. Not scary in the slightest. Great movie!
Scare Rating:
0 / 200
12. The Faculty (1998)
Guilty pleasure time capsule from the early 00's. So much better than it has any right being! Gory, witty, and unusually stacked with big time actors. Popcorn will be eaten and pop culture references will be giggled at.
Scare Rating:
17 / 200
Woefully bland as soon as the infamous first act comes to a close. An attempt is made to expand the (already convoluted) rules of Death's List and it's... lame. End scene had me fucking crying with laughter though.
Scare Rating:
17 / 200
ZzzzZzZZzzz... huh? Oh! Sorry! I fell asleep recalling the "plot" of this try-hard edgy slop. Underwhelming. Rube Goldberg would like a credit for the death scenes, please.
Scare Rating:
5 / 200
15. The Final Destination (2009)
gyaaAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I had to double-check I wasn't watching a Syfy made-for-TV original. Rife with stale tropes, poor CGI, and the kind of performances which make porn acting seem like Shakespeare. The real final destination was the fat fucking nap I took after watching this tasteless trash.
Scare Rating:
2 / 200
16. The Fly (1986)
Finally something really good. David Cronenberg illustrates exactly why he's a bona fide master of body horror. As sickening as it is tragic. This classic will always have a special place in my heart. I love you practical effects 💛
Scare Rating:
103 / 200
Don't let the franchise's past or the generic title fool you. Bloodlines is legitimately competent. Easily the best of the five. Fucking gnarly deaths, entertaining characters, and for once emotional stakes which have you wincing when a member of Death's List meets their end. Very fun!!
Scare Rating:
46 / 200
The second entry of the massive Saw franchise still carries a glimmer of the good to be found in the first. Amanda makes a great (secret) protégé to Jigsaw and the traps they build will curl your toes. Missing the snappiness that James Wan brings behind the camera.
Scare Rating:
25 / 200
Despite the gorier, more unique traps in comparison to Saw II, III's complete lack of plot cohesion and developed characters leaves much to be desired. This is just the beginning of John Kramer's backstory devolving into convoluted nonsense.
Scare Rating:
20 / 200
The scariest part of this movie is the choice to have it take place concurrently with Saw III (as if that movie wasn't a clusterfuck as it is.) The writer/s seem to be fascinated with the idea of flashbacks as they get used so often it feels as though you're being bludgeoned by them in some strange Jigsaw trap. The few good, gory kills are not nearly enough to make this movie interesting.
Scare Rating:
16 / 200
...are we tired of Saw movies yet? I am. Hoffman is a pouty underwritten successor to John Kramer and perfectly illustrates why he is unfit in this lifeless drag of a flick. There were numerous points in which I couldn't remember which Saw movie I was watching lol
Scare Rating:
4 / 200
After four movies of declining quality, Saw VI surprised the hell outta me. Is it amazing? No. But it clearly wanted to recenter the franchise back on its (in my opinion) core theme of justice/punishment. By golly the main character is actually fun to watch! Gruesome traps this time around.
Scare Rating:
30 / 200
Saw break! Had to fill Jasper in on the first Final Destination. Looping back around to the original made me realize just how mediocre it is. If not for a unique horror concept I think this franchise would've died long ago. That being said it's still a pretty entertaining watch. Better than 2, 3, and 4.
Scare Rating:
23 / 200
24. Saw 3D (2010)
The return of Cary Elwes' character makes no difference; this movie suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. It has 3D in the title which is always a great sign of quality. The kills are not even hilarious bad. Just bad.
Scare Rating:
2 / 200
25. Jigsaw (2017)
Jig-fucking-saw. Seven years and it seems we've learned nothing. Generic snooze fest masquerading as a fresh take on a tired beaten horse. """Clever""" flashback reveal that'll make you scoff in benign disappointment. Mortician was real pretty though 💛
Scare Rating:
10 / 200
26. Silent Hill (2006)
If this movie had been given an extra few months in the writing room it would've been great. It oozes style but suffers greatly when any character opens their mouth. Pacing is all over the place. Honestly worth a watch just for the nostalgic charm of early video game adaptations.
Scare Rating:
20 / 200
27. Silent Hill: Revelation (2012)
*muffled sobbing noises*
Scare Rating:
6 / 200
28. Return to Silent Hill (2026)
Less "scary" than its predecessor but at least it's follow-able. A half-hearted, half-baked mess that was obviously rushed and released to compete with Resident Evil (2026). It... fails.
Scare Rating:
2 / 200
Okay... it was seriously fucking good. Ten movies into this shitshow and somehow this is easily the second best. John and Amanda (Eeee!) are portrayed with a kind of depth not present for most of the sequels. The contraptions and games are visceral; memorable! Definitely on my rewatch list.
Scare Rating:
82 / 200
30. Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
Though it's the superior copycat killer Saw entry it doesn't do much to impress. Chris Rock is flat as can be. The gore is meaty but the plot drags its feet hard. Fun choice to make Jigsaw a cop killer!
Scare Rating:
36 / 200
31. Child's Play (1988)
Brad Dourif is such a treat. This movie is by no means good (like the beginnings of other sequel factories) though it has a certain charm to it that I can't help but enjoy. I give Grima Wormtongue all the credit here.
Scare Rating:
8 / 200
32. The Thing (1982)
One of my all-time favorites and part of my namesake! It's got the magic recipe for good horror: likeable (and developed) characters, excellent practical effects, atmosphere, spooky soundtrack, and a nasty monster. A year isn't complete without watching it at least once or twice.
Scare Rating:
55 / 200
33. Sinister (2012)
Downright snuff. The home movies are quite effective at turning your stomach. The supernatural stuff? Not so much. All the scariness here is in the realism of the murders (plus Ethan Hawke being a terrible father lol.)
Scare Rating:
92 / 200
34. Frankenhooker (1990)
LOOKING FOR SOME ACTION? What a fun romp!! Thinly-veiled feminist satire verging on exploitation - which is a good thing! Ahead of its time for sure. Patty Mullen is an icon.
Scare Rating:
0 / 200
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Quite the list, hm? I suppose if I wanted a higher scare score I could've picked scarier movies. Regardless, it was an awesome binge! Happy to tick the "I watched this whole damn franchise" box for Saw, Final Destination, and Silent Hill. And now for the grand total:
🎃 1154 / 1300 🎃
バイバイ~!
-> bonus flashback post <-
Omg!! I'm so shocked by some of these scores tbh. Especially that Silent Hill Revelation managed to get a higher score than several of the Saw movies... crazy lmao
返信削除Some of the Saw movies are just THAT BAD lol
削除Saw 3D in particular is just... an insult to the audience's intelligence. I left a few brain cells behind at that movie night...